I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I am googling "notable people who had syphilis"
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
