come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
some people wear their heart on their sleeve but you just wear your vagina on your face.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Randomize
