end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
My liver just broke up with me...
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
Oh you have the munchies, Dad? That's great and congratulations on the weed but STOP EATING MY APPLE PIE
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
