I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I just wanted to yell " i am not a shake weight!!"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
