How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
remind me to tell you about the ham sandwich empire im building
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Got super judged by this lady at the Rolling Stones concert last night. Bitch don't look so salty at my dad and I splitting two joints, an edible, and two margaritas. It's the stones.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
His life is a porno. He snapped me while banging a girl in the back of the ambulance.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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