ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I hit a bug from across the room with my flip flop boomerang style. That awesome.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
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