So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Woke up this morning with Nerf Bullets stuck to everything in my house and nut in my belly button. What exactly happened last night?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
Randomize