the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
So some sort of safe sex group just flash mobbed the bar by putting condoms over people's beers.
They left screaming as a hale of lubbed up condoms rained into their hair.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
Randomize
