Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
It's not christmas until we're acting sober in front of grandma
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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