he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
When you have to have Siri remind you that you're on your period cuz you're so drunk you keep forgetting about tampons it might be time to call it a night.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
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