I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
he was wearing ninja turtle pajamas and he STILL got laid. who the fuck is this guy?!
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Every concussion has its silver lining
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
