so you know how i got laid the other night? well a condom just came out of me and i dont know whether to be grossed out or happy
i am grossed the fuck out
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
