If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
Awkward interaction of the day: Staring at some guy trying out if he is or is not the guy that woke me up yesterday by getting arrested in front of my apartment.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Randomize
