I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
i can't believe i had my finger in that
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
Well I was going to go home but vodka happened.
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Randomize
