and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
