so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
His parents know me as "the white shoed screamer"
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Yeah but him not going to be sleeping in your sink this time.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
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