As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
