The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
She was knocking on the tree demanding to be let in
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
you told us the chicken was mocking you, then proceeded to explain that every time someone reads your mind you accidentally think of something sexual
Randomize
