yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
The best part about drinking boxed wine is you can blow up the bag and use it as a pillow
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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