why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I walked into the bathroom and there's this 6'5" cop washing his hands. He looks at me and goes, "Heard you singing outside. Sound real pretty."
No more tequila EVER.
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
