Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
You left your phone here
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