So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
You don't know how badly I want to just hold you as a soup spoon holds a bisque
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
The guy like flippppped out and made me pay $15 for a car wash. I thought I was being extremely courteous by making sure to puke outside the window
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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