I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Randomize
