Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Randomize
