who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I don't deserve a penis
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
