Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I wanted to tell him he wasn't actually in me, but my god, awkward?
well most of my day revolves around power hour
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
We just shotgunned beers for America
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Randomize
