The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
only if we run a train.
done.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
Can I get a "hallelujah" for railing my pastors daughter last night?
I passed out with my wizard stick taped to my hands and got woken up being poked with a St. Bernard
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
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