Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
We left an ass print on the piano.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
Maybe he injected his testicle?
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
