let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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