Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
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