my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
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