Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
This is how baked we were last night. Our drinking game: We stare at each other; first one to laugh drinks.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
