so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
Randomize
