I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
did you fuck him yet?
hahaha who do you think your talking to.. a nun?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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