I can't breathe out the right side of my face
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
What started as a "classy" double date ended with Jeremy and I tripping our balls off and talking to the refrigerator while the girls cried on the couch and questioned where their lives were heading.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You were typing for me while I was hyperventilating into a paper bag on the floor.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Randomize
