do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
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