so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
MIDGETS
????
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I am NOT pregnant
My barren womb can FUCK WHOEVER I want
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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