I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
You should be grateful to be my roommate. My booty calls always drive you places in the morning.
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize