I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
No more Irish car bombs ever.
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
It's cuz all she eats is salt lick, human souls, and fast food
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Randomize
