I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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