Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
