Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
