One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
you screamed 'he won't go on a date with me, but he gave me a free junior chicken'
well imagine, me dating the manager equals free junior chickens for everyone
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
Randomize
