He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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