well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
everyone contributed. i held her hair back, he rubbed my vag... it was a team effort.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Ima go for a jog. and I'm going to jog until I throw up a lung. then I'll crawl home.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize