Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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