i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
making out was so insane. it felt like our tongues were paintbrushes made of waves and we were painting an ocean galazy
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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