Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
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