it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
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