i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
I just creeped on air mattress guy's facebook and discovered his ex is the trifecta of evil: tiny, cute, and blonde.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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