Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
You know the story of the boner party, right? They got stuck in the mountains and ate each other?
It was the Donner party... boner party was the porn version...
Randomize
