Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
but next to his bed he has a bible, and on the bible he has a pbr coaster and a condom. how can i stay mad at that? Its amazing.
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