Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
It's official. Every single female in their late teens and early 20s get their fb statuses from a pool of cliched "quotes" which all say, without saying, "boys treat me like shit, I know they do, but one day I'll find 'the guy' who will treat me right no matter how psychotic I am." Vom.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Dude I think I vomited on the wireless internet box too...it isnt working.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I apparently used the line "I'm a bouncer too so i would know if I were too drunk" then they asked me to leave.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
