The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I'm just checking to make sure you don't want to go to the farmers market... This is an assumption based on the fact that you were slapped with a sandwich last night and you remained unconscious.
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I'm still not sure how to feel about the fact that we had a threesome with a guy the same age as my dad
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
