ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Drunkkker than when I told the drag queen she was prettier than me
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
It feels like a bunch of leprechauns are using my brain as a soccer ball
seriously the second he called my tits warlocks was the second I knew I wasn't going to fuck him.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
