Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
thats what you get for writing a paper after liquor pitchers
its only a rough draft.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
