I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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