i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
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