i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
