ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
All i really remember is meeting this guy dressed as jesus and i kept taking his wine and saying "the body of christ!"
I also woke up in my friends room to 3 girls and a naked boy on the floor but thats besides the point
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
