I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
Randomize
